It’s a risky thing to hype a movie up to such tremendous levels… one would hope that a check wasn’t written that couldn’t be cashed. When Longlegs was mentioned in the same sentence as Silence of the Lambs in early reviews (and a few others such as Se7en), well, it’s about as bold a comparison as can be made. It’s also rather unfair to the movie in question; now the audience will be holding it to a ridiculously high standard. With those comparisons lingering in the corridors of the subconscious mind, it’s very clear where Longlegs falls short next to those great films: compelling characters, a substantive story, and electrifying moments.

Perhaps Maika Monroe isn’t to blame for her bland, monotone character, but I also think that she was miscast. I didn’t buy her as an FBI agent; she looks and sounds so young… it’s like, why is the FBI hiring 16 years olds? Regardless, I prefer protagonists to be written with a little more heft.

Some slow burn movies gradually build to a wildfire… this one eventually got a match lit. I found myself watching a story I didn’t care about, being told in a way that failed to interest me. Sucks when that happens, but I got nothing from this experience (not even a jump scare). If the general audience finds this scary or interesting, I hope they can explain how I can prime myself to not only be scared by, but to enjoy something like this.

Nicholas Cage, the main draw here, is quite comical whenever he is onscreen, for better or worse.