I think I would’ve fucking ed if I met a guy named Jasper Lamar Crab.

Self-actualization casts its iron grip on the youth, even all the way back when children were still being named Glenn. Cinema is great and this is 99 minutes of proof.

People say things like, “You need to get through the first six episodes of Fucker’s Revenge on Apple TV+ and then it gets good,” yet complain that the first act of this movie is slow. Tom is the fucking 🐐

A horror epic unlike anything the world of cinema has seen before. YOU SEE HIS DICK!!!!!!