you’d think a slasher where a chainsmoking final girl anakin skywalkers her serial killer ex-boyfriend would be so much more entertaining… alas! not a single golden chainsaw in this whole movie.

you know the protagonists SUCK when i start rooting for the cockblocking murderers.

babydoll is so nier: automata-lollipop chainsaw-american mcgee's alice coded (i love her sm).

exchanging silent flirtation amid the crack of gunfire is stupidly romantic btw… obsessed w/ them.

“why are you doing this to us?”
“because you were home.”

chills, chills, chills, chills, chills, like ew, shut up, i’m so fucking scared right now

genuinely devastated that this movie opted for mainly pov shots instead of showcasing elijah wood's piercing blue eyes and incredible talent for playing unhinged characters. an intense performance was sacrificed for unflattering film composition, imo. 

still, he kinda nailed the parts where we did see him. very much serial killer w/ mommy issues.

mmmm i love a little mermaid retelling where men die in grotesque ways. very poetic, very chaotic.

i knew that mary was going to absolutely kill it the second she rolled up to barbie’s vaginal surgery wearing heels. 

as always, women in STEM doing the nastiest jobs while still looking cunty representation is appreciated in this household.

ladies, is it gay to fantasize about fatally stabbing your husband (who happens to look an awful lot like nathan fielder) alongside the woman of your nightmares, whom you can draw from memory… she holds your hands like in the pottery scene from ghost as you do it, and then she rips out his heart…? asking for a friend.

a guy named “slater king” is literally destined to have a lotus flower island where he abuses women, like it might as well be rich people prophecy 101.

do not cite the deep magic (self-important ‘grittiness’ of art) to me, witch (you pretentious asshole). i was there when it was written (on tumblr when i was thirteen).