listen, rick o’connell forever has me squealing and kicking my feet… but i’d sacrifice my life for evelyn carnahan (please don’t read from that cursed egyptian book, queen, you’re so sexy aha).

“are you sure you’re not just stuck on thorn, freddy?”

the way fred short-circuited watching the hex girls perform is exactly the same experience i had at 8 years old. never outgrew that crush (thorn, please just give me a chance, please, thorn), but i did evolve. welcome deviously charming author voiced by tim curry and the sassy witch-ghost he summoned in his attempt to rule the world. thy hath unlocked new smash cake characters.