9/10. Fuck yeah MCU! Welcome to R-rated adulthood.

-Me: “Funny, chock full of meta humor, multiverse madness, gleefully violent, jaw dropping cameos, gore, fuck bombs, and Hugh Jackman returning to his iconic role. This is a shot of awesomeness that the MCU desperately needed.”

-Deadpool: “Movie_mania4k, great start but I don’t approve of you not giving my epic trilogy a 10/10. So, I’m gonna take over your little review shindig and narration.”

-Me: “Oh, don’t take it personally. Welcome to the the 9th review in my CMRU (Cinematic Movie Reviewing Universe). Despite this film having some wonky CGI and….”

(Deadpool then duct tapes his mouth shut and straps him down to a chair with rope on the little stage in front of the movie screen.)

-Deadpool: “Ok you wonderful, movie loving, Letterboxd motherfuckers. Welcome to inside my head. This is my very foul mouthed, insane, and immature review of Me and Wolverine. Movie_mania4k, thank you for letting me do this buddy. Congrats on getting married and moving to a different state with your wife. Yes, this theater is way better than the other one. Disgruntled Theater Manager is alive and well from the Furiosa review fiasco. Everyone buckle the fuck up; this is gonna be long, epic, very profane, crass, and one of the dumbest reviews out there. 11/10.”

(Movie_mania4k flicks off Deadpool and tries to mumble something.)

-Wolverine: “Hey Bub, that’s my fucking job to flick him off. You Little Bastard of dumb tater tits. This and Logan are the greatest movies ever made. 10/10”

-Deadpool: “Easy there my happy butter cream. So, since I can universe/time travel; I can bring different versions of the CMRU characters from other universes! I Have a shit surprise for everyone. Say hello to Earth 2’s Movie_maniaVHS.”

(Movie_maniaVHS comes out of a random portal.)

-Movie_maniaVHS: “So Earth 1 version of me loves Superhero, Batman, and horror films? Why? Why bring me along? This is stupid, lame, and pathetic. 4/10.”

-Wolverine: “Fuck you Satan’s perfect idiot!”

-Deadpool: “Because I can, and you need to have more fun. Just lighten up you cum bubble of a dick trickle’s vagina breath. Let’s take a look at the comments from my awesome DCMRU (Deadpool’s Cinematic Movie Reviewing Universe).”

-Wolverine: “Yeah, let’s fucking go dipshits! Y’all better fucking love it!”

-Cool Bob (Earth 2): “Thank you Mr. Deadpool and scary, angry Wolverine. This movie was epic, slick, and funny. I absolutely love these sci-fi/superhero epics. 9 /10.”

-Mr. Butthead Gentleman (Earth 3): “I did enjoy this funny, universe hopping film. When I woke up at six a.m. this morning in my comfy bed, I felt a surge of excitement and adrenaline for this film. After this, I’m gonna read a good book. 8/10.”

-Mrs. Pussyfoot Lintlicker (Earth 3): “Yes, funny and action packed. I understood the structure very well. Quite easy to follow without losing the film heart, humor, and message. 8/10.”

-Mrs. Vagine Lintlicker: “I didn’t understand the film, but I laughed. Why do you look like me? Same blond hair, which sorority are you from? 9/10.”

-Miss Fleabag Munchie: “Yeah, i throughly enjoyed it. Meta humor, epic cameos and characters slay so hard. There are some slight pacing and narrative problems. Definitely 9/10.”

-Wolverine: “Fucking beautiful! Anyone who doesn’t like this film can go fuck themselves 666 ways to goddamn hell!”

-Deadpool: “Awe, such sweet words there my rage filled best friend. Just shake it off.”
 
-The Madame Webb (from Earth 2): “Congrats on three movies. I when my third movie got critical acclaim, won an Oscar, and hit 2 billion at the box office. Still couldn’t beat Green Lantern at the box office. Deadpool and Wolverine is awesome movie and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 9/10”

-Green Lantern (Earth 2):” All three of us have amazing franchises. I’m so glad Hugh Jackman came back. 10/10”

-Madame Web (Looks at The Madame Webb very tearfully): “You have a successful franchise? The fuck…how? 10/10”

-Deadpool: “Abso-fucking-lutely! When Hugh said yes, I creamed my pants so fucking hard. Buckle up everyone reading, we still have a way to go. And another fucking surprise!”

(Movie_mania4k from the future comes out another random portal.)

-Deadpool: “Just to avoid confusion we will name him Future_mania4k.”
 
-Future_mania4k: “Shit, I was hoping this wouldn’t happen. I was just starting my review on some movie in the future.”

-Deadpool: “You know the rules bitch tits. Just stand there and don’t fuck with the rules of paradox time traveling.”

(Future_mania4k flicks off Deadpool)

-Deadpool: “Fucking sassy! It’s like y’all are twin birds!”

-Future_mania4k (looking at Movie_maniaVHS): “You still brought this goddamn fucknugget here? What a damn cruel summer. This little pretentious, shitty, certified twatwaffle. Hi again, Mr. Dickweed Buttmuncher. How about you fucking go outside and play a game of hide and then go fuck yourself at midnights?”

-Boring Stan (Earth 4): “Why would anyone watch 70 movies just to understand all the references in this. It was kinda fun. I just want to go back home to my wife. 3/10”

-Wolverine: “Hey blank space! Fuck you!”

-Dirtbag Stan: “Boobs, fucking, sarcastic blowjobs, vagina, and penis! 10/10”

-Deadpool: “Fuck me; your perverted mind is dirtier than mine.”

-Dumb Broke Billionaire: “I’m retiring and disappearing into my golf hole. 7/10” (Disappears into a random portal.)

-Deadpool: “Yes, that’s best for the sake of political stability and socioeconomics. This little, political satire bit is over. Too much bad blood.”

-Skywalker Cage (Earth 66): “The force is strong in this film. Better than eating a peach for hours on Tatooine. 8/10.”

-The Bully McGuire: “With great power comes great sand. 5/10.” (Proceeds to throw sand in Skywalker’s face.)

-Skywalker Cage (Earth 66):” What the fuck a-hole?!? What in the shit tits McGee is this fuckery? Who in the fuck nut bag of Satan’s ballsack does that? Put the fucking sand back in your dancing emo box.”

-The Bully McGuire: “Stings, doesn’t it? Look at little Vader Cage Junior. Gonna fucking cry you dipshit? This makes me happy. You want forgiveness? Get religion.”

-Skywalker Cage (Earth 66): “Looks like you want a face off and piss blood on the concrete. Eat Slugs you shitty, fuck stick, donkey punch fucker!”

(Skywalker Cage whips out his red lightsaber and strikes Bully McGuire many times but the lightsaber just bounces off.)

-Ryan Reynolds: (Sits down next to them) “Easy fucking peasy there my happy lemon squeezes. 11/10.”

-Deadpool: “No, fuck you Ryan Reynolds! This violates my restraining order you odd asshat. How in the ever-living, atrocious, dumpster fire shit did you find us?”

-Ryan Reynolds: “But Deadpool, I fucking love you! My penis…”

(Skywalker Cage reignites his red lightsaber and cuts Ryan Reynold’s head off.)

-Miss Fleabag Munchie: “Oh my God! They killed Ryan fucking Reynolds!”

-Deadpool: “Holy Shit on a butter stick! Thank you for that. Such a crazy, stalker fan who steals my underwear. Little jerk off fucking deserved it. He always sneaked up on me and flicked my left ass cheek.”

-Wolverine: “Fuck yeah. I loved that. Fuck you; you ugly, pretentious, quintessential, asshat monkey. Get the fuck off my antidisestablishmentarianism and go supercalifragilisticexpialidocious on yourself. You sesquipedalian train wreck of an onomatopoeia. Feckless, fatuous bastard.”

-Green Lantern (Earth 2): “That guy's punchable face looks familiar. That was fucking epic.”

-Deadpool: “Yes, such a strange son of a bitch. Definitely a ninnyhammer and a dimwitted knucklehead.”

-Dr. Morbius: “I want my fucking Morbin Time! I wanna be fucking great with my own franchise! Desperately!! 10 /10.”

-Mr. Morbius (Earth 3) “Not in this universe without Spider-Man you daft bimbo. You stupid, butt munching, fusty, douche canon of a fart muncher. You smelly, booger headed looking butt crack. You are the pillock of all the Morbius in the universe. 10/10.”

-Happy Theater Manager: “Yes, so much fun. Y’all are a great group of characters. Y’all are always welcome here to do this. All the theaters are soundproof so y’all can be loud. 10/10.”

-Deadpool: “Yes absolutely Mr. Manager. Out of respect for him and this cool ass movie theater. I’ll make sure this theater doesn’t get destroyed.”

-Movie_mania4k (tape slides off mouth): “You insane, burnt pussy looking mundungus! Let me go!”

-Matt Damon: “Matt Damon!?! Damon/10.”

-Deadpool: “Silence you damn, filthy inbred of a pigs vagina!”

-Movie_maniaVHS: “Can I just please go now! I need to write my movie essay about the greatest movie ever: the epic Shakespeare in Love. And forget about this Batman and horror nonsense.”

-Movie_mania4k: “I hope Saving Private Ryan kicks your fucking ass on Earth 2 you pretentious, boring bag of unpleasant shit!!”

-Movie_maniaVHS: “Talk to the hand you weird looking prick. I’m already sick of looking at your wretched, strange face.”

-Movie_mania4k: “We look exactly alike you asshat fucknugget! You numpy oaf. You paint huffing, lint licking cockroach of a bitch.”

-Future_mania4k: “This shit is way funnier now in retrospect”

-Matt Damon: “Matt fucking Damon”.”

-Wolverine: “Shut the fuck up you dipshit of a snollygoster.”

(Wolverine then proceeds to slice Matt Damon’s head off again.)

-Miss Fleabag Munchie: “Oh my fucking God! They killed Matt fucking Damon again!”

(Deadpool and Wolverine disappear into a portal)

-Movie_mania4k: “Where the fuck did those penis heads go to?”

-Deadpool (out of portal with Wolverine): “Hey, we had stop back in time for your Furiosa and A Quiet Place 3 Review. Did you actually forget about that?”

-Movie_mania4k: “Yeah you fucking dickhead. You Slim Shady Anus. I’m strapped to this fucking chair. And this review is going on way too long and probably pissing off some of the Letterboxd readers. I didn’t write this much but you motherfucker just keeps adding dumb shit on!”

-Future_mania4k: “This shit is funnier in the future bro. When you think back on it.”

-Movie_mania4k: “That doesn’t fucking help you daft dingbat of a stale chicken nugget. And why are there ketchup stains on my favorite Metallica shirt? You fucking certified dumbass of a twatwaffle.”

-Future_mania4k: “Just fucking tell everyone that this is your longest and strangest review. No fucking biggie. You asshat. You fucking certified ass washer of a bastard.”

-Mr. Morbius: “Are they allowed to use those words?”

-Deadpool: “Should be fine. I’m just insulting myself for the fun of it. Not directed at anyone in particular. No one really dies. Letterboxd gives people the option to look at scantily clad posters, gory images, and people cuss like damn sailers on here all the time. Unlike those G-rated dicks over at IMDB.”

-Movie_mania4k: “This review has become completely unhinged, ragingly chaotic, way too long, and so fucking random. Strangely more foul mouthed mixed in with very immature insults.”

-Deadpool: “Don’t ya love meta humor and fourth wall breaks like I do? Letting the audience know this just for fun and using your imagination?”

-Movie_mania4k: “Yep, no matter how off kilter or unfocused we get.”

(2009 Wolverine Deadpool suddenly comes out of the portal)

-2009 Wolverine Deadpool (Mouth sewn shut): …

-Deadpool: “Fuck that guy! Even worse than Ryan fucking Reynolds. Wolverine, will you do the honors?”

- Wolverine: “Fuck yeah motherfucker!! Get ready to eat a huge fucking bag of dicks.”

(Wolverine extracts his claws. But Skywalker Cage cuts his head off.)

- Wolverine: “That was mine you dumb ass idiot of a daft Jedi!!! I’m gonna shove that goddamn, fucking lightsaber so far up your fucking ass that your dad’s fucking balls will ache and your mom's pussy will fucking smell like kyber crystals!”

(Skywalker and Wolverine proceed to fight. Vibraniam claws vs a lightsaber. Fucking glorious)

(Another portal opens up and includes Movie_maniaDVD (Earth 4), Movie_maniaHD (Earth 5), Movie_maniaBetamax (Earth 6), Movie_mania16k (Earth 7), Batman_mania4k (Earth 89). Caveman_mania4k (Earth 0), Motherfucker_mania4k (Earth 69)). Movie_mania3000 (Earth 52). And then thousands of more. Lots of arguing and insults amongst each other.)

(Some snippets.) “Get the fuck off my shoe. You Varlot skellum shit for brains! You smell funny. Goddamn! You’re an ugly son of a bitch. You certified gundygut. You dumbfuck motherfucker. Why the hell are we all here? Move the fuck over raggedy cum stain. Raging anal buffer. Boner huffer! Gory head. Dumb anti-hero.”

-Deadpool: “Jeez guys, everyone calm down. Whoa, that’s a lot of y’all!”

(More snippets.) “You coccydynia. You fustilarian fiend. Hag bitch. Stop fucking touching me you guttersnipe lothario! You certified, microphallis, malt-worm shit fucker. Bird brain crotch jockey. Douchenozzle peepee cheeks. Turd burglar, nimroded bastard bitch. You Banbury Cheesehead of a bitch. Lily-livered vile choleric. Thou Whoreson Zed Vagina.”

(Another portal opens up with Movie_mania8k (Earth 3) and Hugh Jackman.)

-Hugh Jackman: “Deadpool, we need to go to the fucking future to help with another review. It’s right before Future_mania4k’s review of some movie in the future but way after he gets transported here. 10/10.”

-Future_mania4k: “Seriously! This dumb shit again? Setting up more of these fucking reviewing sequels?”

-Movie_mania8k (Earth 3) “It’s ok Movie_mania4k and Future_mania4k. This shit is funnier in the future. Once y’all fucking certified twatwaffles think back on it. 10/10.”

-Movie_mania4k: “Hahaha, doesn’t feel too fucking great now huh? You scruffy looking, nerfherder of a douchebag’s asshole. (Pointing aggressively at Movie_mania8k and then flicking him off.)

-Deadpool: “Fucking fascinating that all the Movie_manias don’t get along and insult each other with school yard/old tyme/Shakespearian names.”

-Movie_mania 8k (Earth 3): “Oh and one more thing for Movie_maniaVHS.”

-Movie_maniaVHS (Earth2): “What the hell do you want?”

-Movie_mania8k (Earth 3): “Go fuck yourself you pretentious fuckwad!” (Flicks him off.)

(All of the Movie_mania4k variants burst out laughing like a group of hyenas dropping ecstasy together. Giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls walking into a Hello Kitty Store.)

-Deadpool: “Ok motherfuckers, sounds good. Let me wrap up here. To all you sexy Letterboxd motherfuckers out there; thank you for making it the end of the finish line. This is my idiotic masterpiece. My fucking magnum XXL opus. This will finally wrap up this review and I’ll give control back to Movie_mania4k.”

(Deadpool grabs Future_mania4k and disappears inside a portal.)

(The other portal with the variants closes too.)

-Wolverine: “Let’s go you pretentious fucknugget of a cum dumpster.”

(Wolverine violently grabs Movie_maniaVHS and they disappear inside another random portal.)

-Me: “Holy shit! I can finally move around now. That was very fucking weird. Ok that will wrap it up. Bye bye bye motherfuckers!”

The end

Deadpool will return
 
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-Other Reviews with my Cinematic Movie Reviewing Universe (CMRU) characters:

1)Madame Web: boxd.it/5QjByv

2)Dune: Part Two: boxd.it/5XFOGp

3)Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire: boxd.it/688CVv

4)Immaculate: boxd.it/691esT

5)Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire: boxd.it/6alTBL

6)Civil War: boxd.it/6hiXSt

7)Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga: boxd.it/6CgCEl

8)A Quiet Place: Day One: boxd.it/6LOM2v
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-Other Lists:

~My CMRU chronologically Ranked: boxd.it/xlSFi

~Shawn Levy Films Ranked: boxd.it/xlTw2

~Marvel Cinematic Universe Movies Ranked: boxd.it/mJQoy

~Best Movies of 2024 Ranked: boxd.it/rXoFu