“Good news, bad news. Good news, I’ve opened my third eye. Bad news, it has pink eye.” - Cult Leader Do moments before the barbiturate pudding kicks in.

Channeling my inner Neil deGrasse Tyson by becoming a total buzzkill in order to spare my Letterboxd rating curve from another 5 star short film.

THOMAS JEFFERSON

PRESIDENT #4/47

VAMPIRE HUNTER

PRESIDENT #3/47

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

PRESIDENT #3/47

JAMES MONROE

PRESIDENT #2/47

MILLARD FILLMORE

PRESIDENT #1/47

“This film is dedicated to the Brave Mujahideen Fighters of Afghanistan.” - Rambo III (1988)

Kendrick needs to whip Drake into a drug-fueled death spiral if he really wants to assert himself as the greatest diss artist of all time… Showing up on his doorstep dressed in a fake mustache, claiming to be Dennis.

The ultimate cinematic “Now wouldn’t that be fucked up or what?”

Forget Anora (2024), now THIS is a set that could have used an intimacy coordinator.

Historical accuracy be damned, this was so batshit I cannot convey how entertaining this film was, from visceral onscreen horse gore to Napoleon oinking on the floor trying to woo Vanessa Kirby. Ridley Scott, your mind.