movie is so right, god is a woman and she created the clicker knock-offs to keep us drug-induced homo sapiens in line. hell yeah!

on another note, those special fx were grotesquely beautiful… but the story lacked substance to a severe degree.

gotta be honest, the only thing i’m going to be thinking about as i fall asleep tonight is the way matthew mcconaughey says “bullshit…” as he’s pushing kate hudson against that taxi.

mmmm i love a little mermaid retelling where men die in grotesque ways. very poetic, very chaotic.

deliriously grand visuals, just wish i had, like, a few more seconds to appreciate anything before we moved on to another song & dance.

FINALLY, a horror movie for all the STEM girls who pour a little too much of themselves into their research! <3

do not cite the deep magic (self-important ‘grittiness’ of art) to me, witch (you pretentious asshole). i was there when it was written (on tumblr when i was thirteen).

this is peak bisexual girl cinema, like c’mon, we love doing crafts inspired by ma(r)y (shelley)!

i would turn to monster fucking at the slightest inconvenience, it wouldn’t take much. but if my boyfriend left me after five years together just because i got cancer, i’d absolutely become a villain, full stop. laura, i would you being so much worse.

‘the mistress of all evil’ is a title every woman should aspire to have

“why are you doing this to us?”
“because you were home.”

chills, chills, chills, chills, chills, like ew, shut up, i’m so fucking scared right now

genuinely devastated that this movie opted for mainly pov shots instead of showcasing elijah wood's piercing blue eyes and incredible talent for playing unhinged characters. an intense performance was sacrificed for unflattering film composition, imo. 

still, he kinda nailed the parts where we did see him. very much serial killer w/ mommy issues.

some visionary out there pitched “cinderella meets evil dead” and then proceeded to allocate the bulk of the budget to party city costumes soaked in fake blood, accompanied by a single children’s book as the sole source of research.

promising idea to cinematic disaster pipeline is real and it is sturdy.